A Message from Uncertainty

In this epi I share an anecdote about the very specific day and way I came to understand how fear of the unknown was running my life in ways I didn't even realize. Just like the message from unconditional love I shared a couple of weeks ago, this breakthrough altered my brain chemistry and changed the way I've lived my life ever since. 

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The movie I mentioned but couldn't remember the name! Rule Breakers (2025). My intuition guided me to that movie then and so whenever you're seeing this take that as your higher self guidance to watch it now if you can. Especially if these themes are resonant for you: 

- doing the unpopular and scary thing

- speaking/standing out even when lots of voices are against you

- women in entrepreneurship

- keeping going even you get told no; never quitting even when all odds are against you

- asking for help, and being open to receiving it - even and especially in unconventional conditions

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Wonderashleighland | Intuitive Tarot & Oracle Reader 

All Products | wonderashleighland (readings)

Mentorship | wonderashleighland 

wonderashleighland | Official Merchandise | Bonfire (i made shirts)

Transcript

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Okay, you guys, I don't think I let you in on my master plan. Um, when I did the messages for May and did like 7,000 tarot readings in one go, it was my intention that like okay, well for the rest of May I'm not gonna keep doing weekly tarot readings. Like, if there's something people need to go back and connect to, absolutely, you know, get what you need out of that monthly reading. But my intention when do with doing that was like that is enough tarot readings to last the entire month. And that doesn't mean that I was gonna stop doing the podcast for the rest of the time. It just meant that um I guess this is just like how my um like the the experimentation continues, right? Like I'm seeing if my podcast wants to evolve in this way. In what way? Okay, basically, um that unconditional love episode that I did kind of like uh was a little bit of a creative spark for me in that um I just have a lot of little anecdotes of breakthroughs I've had, lessons I've learned of things along the way. And I always envision myself sharing those wisdoms in the spiritual mentorship that I offer and like using that as the foundation for like why I want to do that. Um, but I don't want to like how do I say this? It just occurred to me that like I don't have to limit sharing those stories and experiences to like that modality alone, and I've already created this amazing platform that can serve as a foundation for me sharing those messages if and when they want to come up to be shared. So that's what the rest of this May experiment is going to be. More anecdotal, more me sharing from my own lived experience. And then in June, we'll give you another tarot reading. Okay, hopefully that sounds good. So what we're gonna be talking about today, I'm gonna be sharing a little anecdote around this breakthrough I had um regarding uncertainty and just my own deep internal fear of the unknown that I had to work through. And the story of how I even realized that, like, oh, I do have this fear, and this is how it is coming up for me and impacting me. Okay, anyway, um the way I came up with that, I just my cousin graduated um college this weekend, and so I was in Chapel Hill, and as we were going to the various graduation events and ceremonies, there was just this theme that kept coming up in a couple of the different speeches around um like you know being prepared to go out into the world and what does that mean? Like hopefully your education will serve as a foundation for you and your capacity to deal with uncertainty and be and stay ready for you know whatever whatever happens next, whatever comes up for you next. And I mean I think it had to like hit me on the head a couple of times, but eventually I was like, oh wait, uncertainty, like I have a story about that, I know a thing or two about that. So anyway, that is how the inspiration for um today's message came to me. Cool. So back in March of 2025, I don't even really remember how this came up. I think I was I I was journaling and I think I asked, Huey, come on. Hey, please. Um, and I think I asked something along the lines of like I just opened up my journal like specifically to my intuition to my higher self, and I was like, is there anything else, like anything you want me to do? And I got this message about taking myself to the movies. Like literally that was it, like take yourself to the movies, and I was like, oh, okay. And I sat with it, I was like, is that really? And I was like, yeah, okay, that's what I'm getting. Like, take myself to the movies, cool. Um, obviously I had a lot of follow-up questions, like, you know, when, where, what movie. And um, at that time, the only thing I got was like long coats. Take yourself to the movie, long coats. So I took out my little IMDB on my phone, and I went to like playing near me or whatever, like Showtimes, and I was just looking at the cover art for all the different movies, and I remember the options that I could narrow down to were like Mickey 17. Um, and then I just was like, they're technically wearing like I don't even know if you would call them coats, but I was like, okay, they're wearing coats, but they're not very long. And then there was this other movie whose name is escaping me at the moment. Um I'll figure it out, I'll put it in the show notes and whatnot. And um, but anyway, that ended up being the movie where I was like, oh, okay. I that that is the movie that I'm being guided to go see. Cool. Um so then again, I was trying to get the logistics of like, does it matter when, does it matter where? And I mean, I'm not gonna take you through the whole thing, but basically, I ended up narrowing down to like, okay, I meant to go to this movie theater across town, like on a side of town that I never go to. I've never been to this theater before. And then I am going in the afternoon at a time where I will have to Uber to and fro in order to make it to that showtime. And um yeah, the movie itself is one that I have never heard of and that other people seem to not have ever heard of. And like, yeah, that was essentially the criteria. Cool. Um, yeah, so like whatever. I have a plan, I'm like, okay, cool. Tomorrow I'm gonna go see that movie at that time. Done deal. Interesting. Like, this was honestly so random. Like, like, came out of nowhere, had nothing to do with anything that had to do with anything that had been on my radar, but I was like, okay, cool. Like, asked my intuition if there was anything I should do, and it gave me this field trip, so cool. Anyway, the next day comes along. I'm going to see this movie in like the late afternoon, early evening. And as the day is progressing and it is getting closer and closer towards the time for me to have to leave to go get the show, I am starting to get stressed out in a way that's honestly confusing to me. Um, but yeah, I am starting to feel anxious. If I'm honest, what I'm starting to feel is like dread. And like, I really uh don't want to do this. Like, I am in my mind, I am like negotiating with my intuition. Like, are we sure I can't go to like this movie theater instead? Because honestly, I have some other errands that I need to run, and like it would be really more convenient if I was on this side of town. And then also, like, are we sure I can't go at a time where like it's more convenient for me and I could drive to said show and there was no budging. It was like very clear that I needed to go to like this theater I'd never been to before, and at a time where, you know, I'm not driving and like inconvenience meant. Okay, so I'm very clear on like what my intuition is asking of me, and I'm also very like, it's like on one hand I know that I'm gonna do it, but on the other hand, I'm also very resistant to like okay, but why? Like, give me something. Like, I don't want to just like you know. Um if I'm honest, I mean I don't I don't remember this, but it wouldn't surprise me if in my head I'm like I better be meeting like the love of my life at this movie theater, like I better be, I better be running into the right person at the right time with the most amazing opportunity for me having to like whatever. But anyway, um yeah, there's all this energy of discomfort, and the closer and closer it's getting to to the time for me having to leave, call my car, the more and more uncomfortable I'm getting, and fearful is the word. Like the more fearful I'm getting. So um feelings aside, I totally humor my intuition. Um I go to the cedar at the time I said I was gonna go, I take an Uber there, I take an Uber back, everything's fine. Everything's fine. And like this isn't a message about the movie itself, although like that is a kind of like a story inside of this story, and it's so cute because like the best way I can describe it is like it was not a cry movie, I was absolutely sobbing pretty much throughout the entire movie. Okay, I would liken it to like it's one thing to like hear a really beautiful love song and be like wow that was so beautiful, but then it's another thing to like hear that love song and then know that like, oh, and by the way, this is about you and it's dedicated to you. Like that would just make you infinitely more emotional in response to the song. And um obviously the movie wasn't made for me, but my intuition, my spirit team, they did send me on an errand to go see that movie. So when I was watching it and receiving it, there were parts that just absolutely felt like the movie was speaking to me. Did I tell you guys what the movie is even about? Um I'm just gonna put it in the show notes. I'm gonna put it in the show notes. I'm just gonna I'm like I'm still deciding like should I say something about it? I'm just gonna put it in the show notes. Okay, but it yeah. The other cute thing about it too was like I think it was like a 3.30 or 4 p.m. showing and um the only other people in my theater was like this nursing home that was like uh having a field trip essentially. So it was just cute and the energy in there was just so cute, and like there I was in the back, just absorbing it all and bawling my eyes out. Yeah. Anyway, no, I did not meet the love of my life in the theater. I did not even really interact with anyone except for the Uber drivers and the person who bought and sold or the person who sold me my ticket. You know, like it just it wasn't like that. Which is okay. It was better. It was more informational. It gave me something that I really needed. Um basically what happened was like I got home from the movie and I just was very much in my feels about the movie, and I think I was just feeling like uh like what was I so weird that I was so nervous. Like, what was that all about that was so irrational that I just kind of didn't dig into it until the next morning. I woke up, started doing my journaling like I do every morning, and I I most I like was I thought I was winding down the journaling. I thought I was getting to the point where I was like, anyway, this is what the movie was about, these are the messages I received from it, blah blah blah blah. And then I thought I was just making a note at the end, like so weird that I was feeling so stressed before I had to go. Like, what was that all about? And actually, guys, I'm pulling into the driveway right now, so hold that thought. Hold that thought, and then I'm gonna quick pause and then I'm gonna tell you what it was all about. Okay. Okay, I'm back. And full transparency, I am like totally sun lounging right now, so hopefully, I don't know. I'm like, is my voice gonna sound weird because I'm laying down? Hopefully that's not the case because that's what I want to do. Um okay, so what was all of this about? Actually, before I keep going down the story of like, you know, the movie situation, what I unpacked or whatever, I just want to give you a little context um to kind of illustrate like A, why this was so confusing, and B, like what I mean by this fear that I was experiencing around the situation was just like completely irrational, even like from my point of view, towards me. Okay, I generally speaking would consider myself to be a pretty independent person as well as a pretty adventurous person. Okay, things that I had done prior to this whole movie situation experience, I had moved across the country twice, one of those times from San Diego to New York City, entirely facilitated by myself. Um, like leaving my corporate job to go to art school in New York City, and like the situation too was like I rented this apartment and did not see it until the day that I was moving into it, you know? So I am not this like terribly risk-averse person. Also, prior to this whole movie situation, I had also solo traveled to Paris, having never been to Paris before, via an apartment swap situation, right? So, like, not only am I going into this city internationally with like a language barrier, I'm also like, in order for that to happen, I'm letting these people I've never met before like stay in my apartment, right? Okay, so this isn't me being like, oh, look at these things I've done. It's more me saying, like, look at these things that I have done in comparison to going to a movie by myself, which for the record is something that I have also done multiple times before. Cool. So uh knowing that, like reflecting on that, is how I began to understand like the intentionality behind why my intuition was telling me to do to like take myself to the movies, yes, but also in this way under these circumstances because it is really jarring and if you have the uh consciousness and attention to see it enlightening to see and understand the fact that like the nervousness that I was feeling ahead of doing these uh you know bigger scale things moving across the country, solo traveling internationally, was the exact same level of distress I was feeling in response to going to see a movie in my hometown. And trust me, the experience of that was as ridiculous as it sounds like probably even more so. And what I realized was there was like there was an art to this. My intuition, there was there was an art to this because when I'm feeling that level of distress ahead of moving across the country or when I'm feeling some nervousness and some uh anxiety ahead of like an international trip such as the one I was taking. There is so there's so much stuff my brain can point to, right? Like there's so much that logically might be causing, might be contributing to the anxiety that I was feeling leading up to and as I was uh, you know, going on these various adventures. Right? Like oh, it makes sense that I'm feeling this way because, you know, my whole life is changing. I'm leaving my corporate job to go to this art school in New York. It makes sense that I'm feeling, you know, nervous. Or like in the in the case of the traveling, like it makes sense that I'm nervous because I don't I don't speak French. I've never been to this foreign city before. And also there's gonna be people that I have never met before staying in my apartment. It makes sense that there's a level of like what if, right? But what about when you're feeling that way and there's nothing to point to because there is inherently nothing scary about going to a movie theater in a city that you have lived in exponentially longer than any other city that you've ever lived in, getting there via Uber, which you have done multiple times before, you've ridden in probably hundreds of Ubers in your life, and you've seen movies by yourself, some of which in movie theaters you also had never been to before. So, like, literally, what gives? And as I was journaling, I realized like, oh my gosh, what is so distressful. About this situation is the fact that I cannot, could not envision the play-by-play of how those next two and a half, three, whatever hours of my life were going to unfold. And yes, the same could be said for the moving across country. Yes, the same could be said for the solo travel trip. But because those were things that were like, it makes sense to be nervous in those situations, I was never really unpacking why I was nervous. I was never digging into it and looking at what it actually was that was making me nervous in the first place. But in this situation where it made no logical sense to me why I was feeling nervous, I had to look at it. I had to get out the pen and paper and be like, okay, what is the situation? I mean, I honestly wasn't even gonna do that. I was gonna just bypass it and be like, okay, look, I survived. That was really weird. But then when I was sitting there, I was like, no, wait, there's something to this. And there was. And there was, you guys. If you're like me, and maybe you're not, but if you are, there was something so profound I realized that morning, where if I cannot envision how something is likely going to unfold, there is discomfort in response to that. And depending on how many variables there are in the situation, um, that I that I can't predict that are unpredictable, and also depending on like, am I doing this thing by myself, or um does the thing that I'm doing seem worth the discomfort of the unknown that I'm dealing with? And if the answer is no, even if my intuition is guiding me to do it, if my logic can't foresee why, like subconsciously, that fear of the unknown was running my life. I was never gonna do it. I want to partner with it and listen to it. And knowing that I got this instruction, these this set of instructions via my intuition and wanted to demonstrate like dedication to those instructions, I probably wouldn't have done this either. Or I would have negotiated with my intuition, I would have been like, okay, I'll go see that movie, but I'm gonna do it at a theater I want at a time that's convenient for me. That's not how your intuition works. That is not how your intuition works, and you know, had I done that thing, I would have gone to the movie and it would have been good, and I probably still would have cried so much, and I would have, you know, everything would have been fine. But I'm realizing like me understanding the sphere of the unknown that has been silently running my life behind the scenes up to this point, that still would have been hidden from me. I still would have been unaware that that's what was influencing me and the decisions that I was making. And you guys, there are so many implications of this. Obviously, this example of like going to see the movie whatever is trivial, but I'm telling you, it took the situation being trivial in order for the fear to be exposed. Okay, all of your what if fears and I can't see the outcome, they seem really like logical and um, you know, like in your best and highest interest, and like you know, oh it's it's it's good that you have this fear because it's letting you know XYZ and you know it's it's it's helping you stay safe. Okay, cool, sure. What about when that fear comes up with the same level of intensity in a situation where having that fear is entirely irrational? It starts to make you wonder: was this fear ever rational? Even in situations where it makes sense to be feeling this level of fear, even in situations where no one would blame you or blink twice that that's how you were feeling in response to again moving across the country or something on that level, on that scale. But the fact that that fear was coming up for me in order to like go to the movies, that's where it starts to make you wonder like, is this fear actually serving me? That it's communicating just as strongly in a situation that's literally okay. Okay. If you're listening to this podcast, I'm gonna make some assumptions about you that may or may not be true. But I am going to assume that you are a person who also wants to live an intuitively guided, heart-led life. I'm assuming that you are a person with dreams and visions perhaps beyond the reality, the external reality that you have experienced, maybe up to this point. And I think that's beautiful, and I can relate. A, of course, requires well, wanting to change how you live your life requires trust in your intuition, right? Like wanting to live a heart-led life requires that you trust where your heart is guiding you to go and your ability to go there. But wanting to change your life and the experience of the external reality that you live in, that is amazing, great, and you are totally capable, it's totally possible. And it is a journey that, in order for it to be sustainable, um, requires that you change from the inside out. It's a change you undergo from the inside out. And your willingness and ability to change is in direct relationship to your willingness and ability to be with, to exist in, to embrace the unknown. And if every time your intuition tells you to do something that your logic can't make sense of, if every time that happens, there's gonna be this battle. If every time your intuition tells you to do something that you cannot envision yourself doing, and so therefore you don't do it, you're gonna have a really hard time embracing the change that you know is on your heart to transform into. It is the unknown that you have to be friend, it is uncertainty that you have to be willing to embrace. I think this is how Lindsay said it. Lindsay's my tarot teacher, who I've mentioned before. But she said something in our class one day about if you always know what's going to happen next, you are quite literally limiting yourself, you are cutting off of your cutting off your energy from the infinite potential, the infinite possibilities of what could happen next. Which your brain it might really take comfort in, but it it your soul will not. Your heart will not. Because you are literally in the realm of the quantum where anything could happen next, including the things that you really want to happen. Those things that old versions of yourself maybe never would have even said out loud because you didn't even think they were possible. And for that version of you, they weren't. But for the version of you that can embrace the unknown and walk into it, I would say with courage, and like, you know, maybe that's where you start, and if so, like kudos to you. But how amazing would it be if you were walking into the unknown and you didn't even have to be brave in order to do it? Because courage and bravery oftentimes imply that to some degree you're afraid, and that's okay, but I'm just dreaming about the day when like you're walking forward into the unknown and you're doing it with excitement because it's like one of your favorite places to be, you know? Um Yeah. The unknown is not only the realm of the quantum, it is also the realm of miracles. Because in order for something to be a miracle, I think like by definition, one of the requirements is like it's something that you couldn't have seen coming. It's something that you could not have planned for. That is what makes it a miracle. And those don't happen when you know exactly what's going to happen next. Okay? So homework for this week as I watch and make sure this wasp isn't about to land on my foot. Okay, homework this week is to do something mundane, and that is part of the keyword, mundane, in a way or in a place that you don't normally do it. And I mean, you can do it with the intention of expansion. I think the experience definitely will expand you, but really, like, what I would encourage your focus to be is like how do I feel while I'm doing this? Okay, here's an example. Like, go grocery shopping this week, and maybe go to a grocery store that you've never been to. Like a kind of grocery store you've never been to, and then like in a neighborhood or somewhere that you don't usually go to. And like just go in and like let that be your experience, and just see how your body feels about that. Or maybe you go to a restaurant you've never been to. You know, maybe you just get in your car and you drive around and you wait for your intuition to tell you which restaurant it wants to go into, and then you go to that restaurant and you don't look up the menu beforehand, and you don't pull out Yelp to see pictures, you just follow your intuition and order what you feel like you should order, and you just see how your body feels as you do that. Okay, the trick is for it to be something so mundane that, like, if fear and anxiety and dread were to be dredged up, you would in your mind be able to identify that as irrational and illogical fear. And basically, what you're trying to do is just get a gauge of like what is my tolerance for the unknown? What is my tolerance for uncertainty right now? And then maybe you write about that experience. Okay. Um anything else that wants to be said? I just like I this is a big deal. Whether or not I'm communicating it in a way where it's like, yeah, duh, it is. Like clearly. Um, yeah, it's like even if I miss the mark, like, trust me, this is a big deal. And so, like, go, you know, screw everything I said, go on your own journey to like um like uncover your relationship with uncertainty and the unknown. Because the way the guy said it in the speech at graduation, it's like dealing with uncertainty. Uncertainty is like, it's not something to be dealt with. It is something that is literally like yeah. It's just your friend. And so if you have that perspective of uncertainty to be something you have, like an inconvenience, something you have to deal with, something that has to be overcome, it's like, no, no. That's the journey I want you to go on. My discomfort with being able to envision how things are going to play out, the solution to that wasn't becoming better at envisioning how things are going to play out. The solution to that wasn't like, oh, I need to work on seeing myself in situations that I don't normally see myself. Like, no. There might be value in that, but not, that's not the message. The value is in increasing my capacity to move forward at things, especially intuitively, divinely guided things that I cannot envision. So that me being able to envision myself doing certain things or being certain places is not a criteria for me being able to say yes to following my heart. I'm seeing like um oh okay, what I just said, what I'm seeing in response to that is just like so many doors opening. Doors you did not even know existed, like doors that you could not have even perceived. Because if you only can go where you can envision yourself going, that's that's not infinity, that's not infinite. That right there is its own self-imposed limitation. So if you can expand your capacity to embrace and feel safe in the things that you can't envision, there are so many more doors that become available to you when you do so. Alright, I'm gonna leave it at that. I love you. Um, you know, I don't know what we're gonna talk about next week, but part of me is like there is a little feature in the show notes where you can like leave a note. And if you feel like there has been a recurring theme or something that you have been that's been coming up in your life, or just something you're curious about and like want to get, I don't know, just maybe you want to open yourself up to a new perspective around something, like this is your invitation to drop me a line and let me know. And if I have anything intelligent to add to the conversation, I will happily do that. Otherwise, it'll be dealer's choice, which obviously I'm also happy to do. But okay. See you next time.