A Message from Success

June's send-off message,  

Success is an inside job!!!

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Super Fun Announcement:

If you're in Indianapolis this Sunday, June 28th, the Local Radish will be hosting their Liminal Space event, where I and a handful of other metaphysical practitioners will be tabling from 5:30-9p! Stop by for a reading, I'd love to see you there <3 

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Wonderashleighland | Intuitive Tarot & Oracle Reader 

Readings | wonderashleighland

Mentorship | wonderashleighland 

wonderashleighland | Official Merchandise | Bonfire (i made shirts)

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Okay, you guys, this is the June grand finale. Today we have a message from success. And what's hilarious, not hilarious. What's interesting is this is the message. These are the stories that I knew I was going to be saying in June, ever since I gave the June reading. I honestly, you know, you kept hearing me talk about, I intended to come into this podcast talking about something else, but I'm being guided to talk about this today. This is that topic. This is that topic. These are those anecdotes. And I woke up this morning without an agenda, open to whatever wanted to be talked about, and it is this. And it is this. So we made it. Say we're talking about success.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Okay. This breakthrough.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

How do I say this? I'm gonna be kind of telling you guys a story, but really what I'm gonna be reiterating to you is the moral of the story. But just for context, last November, right after Thanksgiving, I had what I like to call my spiritual coming out. I essentially, because I launched my business and I like posted on Instagram, like, hey guys, I read tarot cards. And that was kind of a big deal for me at the time. Um and then a couple of weeks later in early December, I was on this walk reflecting on not just that experience, but like everything in between, the time in between, the aftermath, if you will. And I had this whole download breakthrough about success that I'm gonna be sharing with you now. Um so for a little bit of context, in the time leading up to me having that spiritual coming out and launching my business last November, I had had all of this space for like a year and a half to really consider what success means to me. And that was something I had thought about very intentionally. Um, you know, having walked away from my corporate job to pursue interior design, and then walking away from interior design to pursue at the time I didn't know what the fuck, but just knowing that like this isn't this isn't actually for me either. In that hollow time, in that deepest of deep void spaces, I really was considering like, well, what would a successful life mean to me? What would it look like? What would it feel like? How would I be all those things? And throughout the course of that time, I had a pretty solid theory on what I thought success meant to me. Actually, and this is kind of how I just in general read the Nine of Pentacles card. It was the Nine of Pentacles that kind of really solidified what success means for me. But anyway, this is the this was my theory at the time. Okay. When you are guided by your heart to create something for the world, when you are inspired to take certain actions from your heart in service of the world, and you do it, the doing it is the outcome. The doing it is the success, regardless of the external response. Nine of Pentacles is like, to me, anyway, it's like you create something that you think is a masterpiece that you were inspired to create, and you went on that journey to create it, like genuinely, like with the inspiration and the knowing that was within you. And success is that moment where you, it's just you and your creation, you are content with it, you are cherishing it, you are adoring it, you are giving it the chef's kiss stamp of approval before you take it out into the world, before any outside anything loves it or hates it or is indifferent towards it, et cetera. And so I'm on this walk considering the almost two weeks in between me launching my business and me being on this walk having this talk with myself. And I'm reflecting on the fact that over those past weeks, I have really appreciated the kind words and support that have come my way, especially from very unexpected places, like people reaching out to me that I just never even would have just was not even on my radar that they would do that. And so there was so much warmth from that. And I was deep in gratitude because of that. At the same time, I also was dealing with these feelings of disappointment by the lack of support and encouragement I was experiencing from some of the people that were closest to me. And feeling hurt by that because, you know, if the shoe was on the other foot, I know how I would have showed up for them. And so just that feeling of like the silent speaking volumes. And I'm walking and I'm talking to myself about how none of that makes me regret what I've done. There is an opportunity for me to like accept here, grieve here if I need to, and acknowledge that, like, okay, but this is what the situation is, and that's fine. But as I'm digging deeper into that, I start feeling into the fact that, like, actually, this lack of outpouring love, support, and encouragement from people that I thought would be loving, supportive, and encouraging, it actually isn't a problem at all. It's actually quite the opposite because it was allowing me the opportunity to embody my definition of success, to experience success in reality from that inside out perspective that I had cultivated in theory.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Okay, I'm like, should I explain what inside out means?

SPEAKER_01 6:58

So I certainly didn't invent this, but inside out is sort of my framing of how I understand the concept. But inside out, so it has to do with that theory that, you know, a lot of people move through life thinking that the external circumstances are what they are, life happens to them, and then that outside whatever's going on influences how they feel, how they think, how they are on the inside. And it takes radical responsibility and consciousness to shift your state of being from outside in to inside out. But inside out would be living your life from a place of understanding that actually I am in control of how I feel on the inside.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

And I also know that ultimately that is influencing the external experience. I'm not gonna go too deeply into that in this moment.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

But A, hopefully that's making sense. B, I'm sure that's not the first time you've heard that. But anyway, the point is this was a chance for me to embody that understanding from the point of view of success. Put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. So anyway, I'm on this walk and I'm realizing like, wow, this is these thoughts that I've been having and that I've been considering are really just a part of old programming. And it is so sophisticated, it is so subtle, but that's what it is. The old programming was inviting me to consider, like, okay, Ashley, how are you going to define your success right now? How are you going to justify that the decisions that you've made are the right ones? How are you going to articulate that this leap that you have taken was worth it? And what this old programming was dangling in my face was the outside-in approach, which more or less was saying, like, I tried something, no one seems to care what I have to say. I tried something, few people seem to recognize the work that I'm doing. I tried something, and the worthiness of investment in what I'm offering seems to not be resonating with anybody. And old me would have accepted that and from there been like, yeah, you know what? Maybe what I have to say isn't that significant. Maybe the breakthroughs I've been having are great for me and resonate within me so deeply because of the journey I'm on, but maybe they aren't actually transferable to other people in their situations. Maybe what I'm setting out to do here isn't actually helpful or of service to anybody after all. Or at the very least, like not on the scale or within the scope that I envisioned was possible. But instead of blindly accepting that, being on this walk, talking through it, it actually, I was able to perceive choice. And that choice came to me in the form of a question Am I going to let that perception of the outside influence what's going on in here?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

How I'm feeling on the inside. Am I just going to blindly accept that?

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Or am I going to be conscious enough to catch it and say, thank God, I'm living my life from the inside out now instead? And so, really, what the new programming was challenging me to consider was can you believe in yourself even when on the outside looking in, no one else does? Do you have it within you to put yourself out there, invite others to believe in you, have them more or less say no or I don't know, and then being willing to carry on believing in yourself, anyways. Once upon a time, I would have taken the narratives from the old programming at face value and succumbed to defeat. But thankfully, I was conscious enough to realize, like, oh, I am being given an opportunity to show myself, okay, no one else believes in me. Okay, no one else seems to be picking up what I'm putting down right now. Am I still going to believe in myself? Yes. That was a real-time conversation I was having with myself on this walk. And when I said yes, like upon me making that energetic decision, the first crack in this breakthrough started to expand. And what it showed me is that there are levels to this. It revealed to me the fact that the work I had been doing to overcome, we'll put it to you this way. I used to worry myself to death with what will other people think? Will other people approve? Do I have permission to move forward in this way from this person in my life, this person in my life, this person in my life? And I was giving all of those thoughts, all of those considerations so much weight in the decisions that I was making. And I mean, to even get to the point where I am having a spiritual coming out on social media and telling people, I read tarot cards now, I had to get over that. And I did. I had been working on that for a long time. In many ways, I had demonstrated I am over that. Which again is how I got to the point that I was at. What this breakthrough was showing me, though, is that that was phase one. That is front-end decision-making process. And again, I am understanding why this message wanted to wait. Okay, June. June itself has been this invitation to make those kinds of decisions. Decisions that are free and clear of fear of judgment, fear of perception, fear of being misunderstood, et cetera. And so if this message is for you, I get the sense that you have probably gotten over that as well. Right? Like if you have taken inspired action despite external whatever, you to some degree have gotten over that as well, which is why the rest of this breakthrough is very important for you in this moment in particular. Because again, June was this invitation to make decisions like that. And if you have recently used that invitation to make a decision that from the outside may be susceptible to judgment and disapproval and misunderstanding and the like, success has a very important message for you at this time. Okay. So anyway, phase one, front-end decision-making process, getting that front-end decision-making process free and clear of needing, approval, permission, et cetera. Again, at this point in the journey, I was comfortably and regularly making decisions by me, for me, without the need for permission, approval, et cetera. But what I didn't realize, phase two, what I did not realize is the desire for permission, the desire for approval, et cetera, was still sneaking into the process. And where it was doing that was on the back end. On the back end, aka and me determining whether the decision that I made was a good one. And then from there, like whether or not I wanted to keep going down certain paths that I was already walking. The need for permission, the need for approval, the need for validation was sneaking in and influencing my determination of whether the of whether the decision I made was a successful decision. And what this experience was showing me was that I do not do that anymore. When I made that energetic decision, yes, I am going to keep going, that broke open, that lifted the veil on like exactly, we don't do that anymore. This is where I let go of the desire for approval completely, front end and back end. And if you are listening to this and it is resonating with you, you are being invited to do the exact same thing. This message is saying, yes, make decisions with your heartfelt approval and permission alone, and then evaluate those decisions from that same energy. This old programming was showing me where I had been making decisions from the inside out, yay, but then reading those decisions from the outside in. Boo. And so this lesson is in accepting the invitation for the review process to be from the inside out as well. And that is so key. Both of them are. Yes, I would have really appreciated it. Yes, that would have felt very soothing and nice and lovely for my ego. And at the same time, it would have continued to feed my need for the approval, for the validation, for the understanding, in order for me to make my way forward, in order for me to keep moving forward. Leaps of faith, there is an initial jump you have to do. There is an initial band-aid you have to rip off. But they are not one-time things. They are something that it's a path. It's a path that you have to continually wake up and choose. And if in order to keep moving down that path, you need constant external validation to move in that direction.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

It's going to be really, really hard to get where you're going, even if you take the initial jumps of faith.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Take it from someone who used to thrive off of those energies, which is why it was so baked into my programming in the first place. And so, had all of those energies, again, approval, validation, understanding, etc., had all of that been waiting for me so immediately after me putting myself out there in this way, that programming would have maintained that want, that need, that addiction towards those external reactions would have held up. Meaning that moving forward, I still would have needed, I would have still craved that external validation in response to my actions. Meaning, the next time I would have gone to put myself out there in a certain way and take a leap of faith, even if this is like years down the line, if at that point I wasn't met with the external validation, I still would have this shit to work through. But since there was no external reaction or validation in that way, no external feedback indicating wild success, the way that people typically think of it, that tower could fall. That foundation could crumble. In fact, that's all it could do. And yours can too. If you are sitting on the other side of having taken a heartfelt action, and in that aftermath, doubt is creeping in, or the lack of external fireworks and celebration is leaving you feeling like, okay, wait, maybe this was a mistake. It wasn't. The message of success needs you to know that it was not. It needs you to know that you are being given a golden opportunity to double down on living your life from the inside out. People so often talk about feel the feelings now. You have to feel the feelings now. How you feel while you're getting there is how you'll feel when you get there. And I believe that. I spout that shit out all the time. I believe it. I really do. And this message, this breakthrough, is reminding you that success at the end of the day is a feeling to. It is a feeling first. Success is an energy to. And when I was sitting months ago, probably years ago at this point, considering to myself, like, what does success mean to me? What does success mean to me? The breakthrough that I had came through to remind me that success is a feeling. It's intangible. It is felt. And you are allowed to feel it now before it makes sense to the external world. In fact, you should feel it now. You must. And the other thing, too, is like the external world will eventually catch up. That's the whole inside out of it. How you feel on the inside is eventually the outside has to catch up.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

So feel that feeling now. This message is here to, in a way, show you how and tell you why.

SPEAKER_01 23:28

And to let you know that when it comes to success, just like with happiness, just like with love, just like with joy, just like with peace, external be damned. If the deepest, most loving and profound feedback, encouragement, applause that you are receiving at this time is the applause that you have been giving yourself, you are on the right track. You are doing it. If the recognition that you have been giving yourself is of some of the only recognition that you have received, that's kind of the point. Actually, right now, it's entirely the point. Your recognition is worth something. Arguably, it's worth everything. When you get down to it, it is arguably worth everything. The energy of success needs you to be able to count on you, believe in you, follow you no matter what. It needs you to be able to trust in you to take inspired action from the inside out, no matter what.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

So if this is where you are, it's a really big effing deal.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

If you are the only one rooting for you right now, well, actually, you're not. I'm rooting for you. I love you. But if you feel like you did a big scary thing and now it's crickets, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, now you know why. And I cannot stress this enough, but it's a big deal. Literally, if you can like be grateful that you have not been flooded with the positive external feedback because you're literally being invited to break yourself free from that feedback loop. And that feedback loop is what kept you running on the hamster wheel, living a life that maybe looked or sounded satisfactory on paper, but ultimately left you feeling like empty, like something was missing. And when you can internally source that positive feedback, when you can love what it is that you were inspired to create without needing the world to pat you on the back and tell you you did a good job, I am telling you. So that part of you that used to believe that you needed the external validation, let that part fall on the sword. They want to fall on the sword for you.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

And they want to do that so that you can move forward knowing no the fuck you don't. That is the message from success. Okay. I love you guys.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Really quickly, I um whoa, really quickly, next time we talk, it will technically still be June, but I'm gonna be giving you guys the July tarot messages. And on that note, I just want to remind you, oh my gosh, wait, actually, two, okay. First of all, if you're local to Indianapolis, the local radish, which is on college in 52nd or 54th.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Let me look it up.

SPEAKER_01 27:42

52nd. Okay, the local radish on 52nd in college on June 28th, aka this coming Sunday, they are hosting their liminal space event, meaning that from 5:30 to 9, me and a slew of other metaphysical practitioners will be having tables there. So if you want to come by and get a reading, please do. I would love to have you. And then, like I've mentioned, if you just, if you aren't local to Indianapolis or if you just would rather not have an in-person reading, no problem. Um, the readings on my website are available and they are what they are price wise until July 1st. And then the prices are gonna go up. So just a reminder about that as well. Okay. I think that's all the housekeeping. I love you guys. Happy Monday.